Infuriated With Whitney & Liria

Dear Whitney and Liria,

I recently came across your "advice column" and I feel it my duty to write to you and let you know that I think you're both trash! Ladies never discuss sex and they certainly don't mention it in the same breath with food!

Righteous in Rhode Island

Whitney Says:

Dear Uppity Bitch,

Don't you DARE insinuate that I'm not a lady! I am a graduate of the "White Gloves and Party Manners" seminar given annually at the Urbana Mall. I have etiquette coming out my ass! You, on the other hand, are as classless as campus during spring break. Puhaleaseeeeeee! Now, to prove what a lady I truly am, I would like to offer you my "Nuts To You" PEANUT BRITTLE recipe.

Don't break a tooth!

Liria Says:

Dear Unhappily Married, Bitter, and Out of Touch,

You know, you've got a point. Not so sure that "lady" is a label I've been working towards though. Where did you read that we are a resource for buttoned-up mice who want to stay that way? I'd rather be real. I'd rather live a life full of sex and food and great conversation (only occasionally at other's expense) than to be, well... you. By the way Whit, I may not have been to the Podunk School for Manners but my mother taught me that those who have class never ever say it! Don't make it so easy for them to co-opt you, Babe.

Being you, Righteous, is it's own revenge.

Carry on,

Whitney Says:

My Dear Liria,

My mother taught me the definition of class too. Her's varies slightly from your mom's but I believe the premise is essentially the same. My mom said that the definition of class is to make whoever you're talking to feel like the most important person in the world, at that moment. You must be totally engaged whether you are speaking to the garbage man or the Queen of England. My guess is that Righteous doesn't even speak to her garbage man. What do you think?

Love your fellow trash,

Liria Says:

Whit My Love,

If I'm going to be in the trash with anyone, I'm glad it's you!

What a pickle.

Comments

[Veronica From Mars]

What a cow!

[Amanda]

If you don’t like the site, don’t visit it! I’m a lady full of class and I still can have fun when it’s apropriate. What better place then on-line with total strangers. By the way, Miss Righteous, Ladies also don’t go out of their way to call someone trash. So you might want to really think about whether you really are a lady.
Go and spread your righteousness elsewhere, this site is so much fun. you’re probably a so called lady who doesn’t have any.

[Not So Plain Jane]

Oh Pleeeze! Get over yourself

[Ginny From the Block]

What’s this bitch’s problem?! I say you’re both classy babes. Regardless of this White Gloves and Party Manners thing. That just scares me!
Ginny