I'm Attracted To My Son's Friend

Dear Whitney and Liria,

I am mortified to be writing this letter, but I'm desperate for guidance. I am a very well preserved mother of four. My oldest son in eighteen and his best friend, John (who I have known since he was a toddler), has recently started to make advances towards me. I'm only forty and I'm tempted to take him up on his offer. What's worrying me is what this will do to my relationship with my son if he finds out. Please help. I'm not sure how much longer I can withstand the pull of my raging hormones.

Mrs. Robinson in Maryland

Whitney Says:

Dear Mrs. R.,

Think back to the first Mrs. Robinson. The best thing that ever happened to her was that Simon and Garfunkel dedicated a song to her. I'm guessing they won' t do the same for you as they have long since broken up. I "get" the whole Ashton/Demi biological age thing, but please remember that no amount of hot boy sex is going to be worth jeopardizing your relationship with your son. Plain and simple, you are not too old to have relations with a man of legal age. But you are too old to have sex with your son's friend.

I am also assuming that you're not currently married. If you were, there would clearly be a plethora of additional reasons to keep it in your pants, as it were. If you are indeed in the market for a new man in your life, may I suggest reeling him in with my "COME TO MAMA" COCONUT CREAM PIE? Please do not use this recipe on John though. The consequences could be staggering.

Coocoocachoo Mrs. Robinson!

Liria Says:

Dear Mrs. Robinson,

You really do know this but you MUST keep this boy's meat out of your stew! There's nothing wrong with a trip to the butcher though! Find yourself some fresh meat... meat you can grind and saute with your peppers and onions. Take it home and throw it into my "I'M SO HOT I GOTTA WEAR SHADES" CHILI. And wash it down with some ice water Mama. If things are still too hot, get yourself into an icy shower.

Once you've come back to your senses, you can cook with the best of 'em!

Sheesh!

Comments

[Veronica From Mars]

LOCK UP YOUR SONS!!! This is so “Desperate Housewives” of you Mrs. R. And while I applaud your chutzpah that you could actually get naked in front of this boy, may I suggest a nice adult toy might be less demoralizing in the end. Happy Trails.
Veronica

[Ginny From the Block]

Excuse me, but yuck! Keep it in your pants Mrs. Robinson. There are plenty of men out there who are your own age!
Ginny

[Mrs. Robinson]

Dear Ginny,
Is that Ginny from Cell Block C? I can assume that someone is prison is so much more moral than and upstanding citizen like I.

[Ginny From the Block]

Poor Mrs. R.,
At least I’m young enough not to share in your moral dilemma.
Ginny

[Whitney]

To you corners ladies. This is supposed to be a nice supportive forum to help the sisterhood. Please leave all the nasty comments to me and Liria It’s perfectly fine to disagree with each other, let’s stay away from the cat fights though, hmm?
Shalom,
Whitney

[Brooke]

I have to agree with Ginny - for God’s sake, stay away from this kid - how would you like it if one of your friends took an interest in your son.

[Emily]

STAY AWAY

[Lisa in Beantown]

Forget what you should or shouldn’t do…how does one maintain a “well preserved” body that would even interest a teen-aged boy? (Not that I would take it anywhere, I just would like to have the bod.) Can’t feed the world brownies to make everyone else fatter so that I in turn look thin…what to do…what to do…

[Alicia]

If you're well preserved then go find any other available man that isn't your son's friend.

Hell, you could even find yourself another 18 year old kid if you want,(Eww). But at what cost are you willing to lose your sons respect?

Some boy toy attention and an ego trip is really all you're talking about here.

[Alicia]

If you're well preserved then go find any other available man that isn't your son's friend.

Hell, you could even find yourself another 18 year old kid if you want,(Eww). But at what cost are you willing to lose your sons respect?

Some boy toy attention and an ego trip is really all you're talking about here.

[pete]

As a son there would be nothing more emasculating than having a teenage friend of mine tell me he fucked my mother! The only thing worse to a man can be having his wife do that with a teen. So go ahead and do it if you hate your son and want to destroy him.