Sweet Sixteen and Never Kissed

Dear Whitney and Liria,

I'm only sixteen, but there's this guy that I really, really, really like. I mean REALLY! The problem is that he's twenty four and looks at me like I'm a child. What should I do?

Sweet Sixteen and Never Kissed

Whitney Says:

Dear Lolita,

For the love of God girl, isn't it past your bedtime? Hear me loud and clear on this sweetheart... you are JAILBAIT!!! If this dear man is smart enough to realize that, DO NOT dangle your fresh young behind in his face. The only boys you should be interested in should be no older than seventeen or eighteen, TOPS! And remember when you're thinking of hopping in the sack with one of them (as I'm sure you are you little tart!) adolescent boys stink. As in peeeeeeuuuuu. Hygiene is not high on their hit parade.

Now, I'm calling your mother!

PS: Speaking of tarts, my LUSCIOUS LEMON-ALMOND TART is out of this world!

Liria Says:

Now Girlie,

I don't mean to sound bitter, but...I have had it up to HERE with children masquerading as women and competing for MY men. Okay, he may not be mine. Yes, I could be his mother. But my point is undiminished.

You, little girl, should have yourself a slumber party, attach chastity belts to all your little-girl friends, and pine over what ONE DAY will be yours. Not today though. Today it is hard enough for a single ADULT woman to find a date without having to compete with YOU.

Don't you have an SAT to study for?

Comments

[She Was a Showgirl]

My friends and I flirted with older men all the time when we were teenagers. But we didn’t know what to do with them beyond flirting. Girls today KNOW and it’s scary!!! btw can’t wait to try the Lemon Tart!
Lola

[Emma J.]

Sweet Sixteen,
You need to try kissing some boys your own age first. There is a good reason that he isn’t noticing you, you’re a minor and he seems to be one of the few men out there that understands that. an 8 year difference isn’t that much when you are say 24 and he is 32, but right now you have only one thing in common and that’s the one thing you should guard. I dated an older guy once for a few months, by the way I was legal at the age of 19, but when I didn’t put out he didn’t stick around and I’m glad because I saved something special for the right person. I have always been more mature than most girls my age growing up, but I still had nothing in common with that guy. Infact, I feel that guys that are much older and are dating someone your age are not only after one thing, but they usually aren’t even mature enough to be with someone their own age. Save it, make it special. My first kiss was awful and I still can remember it. Nothing special about it and I couldn’t hit rewind. Don’t try to grow up too fast, the real world that you are trying so hard to get to is hard.

[Lynda]

Find someone your own age - for God’s sake!