My Boyfriend is Going to Strip Clubs

Dear Whitney and Liria,

My boyfriend goes to the bar every Monday night to watch the ball game. I stopped by to surprise him tonight and guess what? He wasn't there. His friends were doing their best to cover for him, but I'm afraid that he's going to the strip clubs again. Even though he promised that he'd stop. What should I do?

Angry in Anchorage

Whitney Says:

Dear Angry,

First of all, how good looking are the strippers in Alaska anyway? I mean I'm getting a visual here and I see facial hair. Obviously, regardless of how hot these chics are or are not, you do not want your boyfriend oggling them. I get that. Yet I'm wondering what he's getting at the strip clubs that he's not getting at home. I am not blaming you in any way. I am simply asking the obvious question.

Do you think perhaps that it's time for a trip to Trashy Lingerie for a Naughty Nurse's uniform? Find out what your boyfriend's fantasies are and help make them come true for him (within reason). Maybe perform a little strip-tease of your own. I do not recommend using the pole though. My friend Rachael did that and wound up in the emergency room getting fifty-two stitches when she flew face first through the bedroom window. I'm enclosing a simply fabulous recipe for my "Whip Him Up" WHIPPED CREAM.

I wish you much good use of it.

Liria Says:

Dear Angry,

At the bar you know he's watching the cheerleaders just as our eyes are focused on the tight buns in tight pants running around doing that silly little happy dance. I'm gonna suggest you make him some HOT "DON'T CROSS ME" BUNS. Impale THEM on a pole, and serve fresh from the oven on Sunday morning. Trust me, that'll keep him in next Monday night. Sometimes subtle works just fine.

Now you can enjoy the democratic pleasures of Monday night football together.

Touchdown?!

Comments

[She Was a Showgirl]

I took a stripping class for excercise and boy did I learn a thing or two about a thing or two! All in all it was great fun and a good workout… and my boyfriend has been quite pleased with the results. I can’t help but wondering what strippers in Alaska actually look like!
Lola

[Maggie]

I also am wondering about strippers in Alaska - scary. Great advice from both Whitney and Liria although the HotCross Buns recipe is too involved for me - I’ll get the Pillsbury rolls and say I did them myself!