I'm Just His Booty Call

Dear Whitney and Liria,

There is this guy that I like but he only uses me for a booty call. How can I make him see me as girlfriend material?

Not Good Enough

Whitney Says:

Dear Not,

Sweetheart, he only sees you as a booty call because you've apparentley let him. Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER let a man use you for sex when you want more. It's just not done. I'm certain this fellow will never ask you out until you close the all-night service station. Remember, if your booty is good enough to call, it's good enough to take out to dinner and meet his parents some day. Should that day ever come, make my FESTIVE FRITTATA!

Remember, you're booty-ful!

Liria Says:

Dear Not,

You can't! Really. When they come over for dessert, it's nearly impossible to get them to eat their vegetables. In case you want to try, make my SUPER SIMPLE NEVER FAILS GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE. Not only will you learn a thing or two about his relationship to holidays, it's sure to add an element of Betty Crocker to the Mae West impression you've created.

If you're shopping for the long haul, you absolutely CANNOT let yourself fall into the booty call category. Take it from a girl who's got (and gotten) more than her share of tail (J-Lo eat your heart out!). One of the hardest lessons a single girl has to learn is that for men there are so many booties, so little time. If you want yours to stand out, don't offer it with the buffet.

Learn to be hard-to-get and the world is yours!

Comments

[Mary Ann]

Hey Whitney and Liria,
It’s harder to say no to a booty call than you’d think. When you’re single and don’t get that much attention from the opposite sex, sometimes it’s nice to have physical contact with another person.
Mary Ann

[Whitney]

Mary Ann,
Please don’t get us wrong. Of course it’s lovely to have physical contact. The point was to have it with dignity. If Not Good Enough had trained this man to respect her from the start, perhaps she would now be his girlfriend instead of a convenient body to just have sex with. If she was only after a booty call, herself, she would have never written to us.
Love,
Whitney

[Amber]

Mary Ann,
I get what you are saying, but becoming a booty call, especially when she wants to be his girlfriend is not good anyway you want to look at it. He does not respect her, and it’s probably too late for that now. Besides, yes men think with a different part of the anatomy then most women, but who would want a guy who uses you as a booty call anyway. I say forget this guy and find yourself some self-respect, a real man and a dildo until you do. Love yourself first and then you will find a man that will too.

[mar]

I understand what ms not good enough is going through. But my situation is deeper. I love and care for this guy but he is honest with me and told me he isnt ready to tied down with anyone. I respect his honesty. I would like to have a serious relationship but these men out here are just out for a good time. With this one I cant= hate him it is what it is I will move on until something better comes along. I m using him for the meantime.we care about each other friends with benefits.weve been kicking it for a year and I finally ask him over the summer whts going on here and i didnt like his answer the truth hurts but at least I know where I stand with him.He is there for now until I meet the right one.We dont talk to each other every day we see each other twice in a month. At least I knopw im not his girl and never will be he loves being singel so u can say he is a dater. Good sex is hard to find. My friend is great in the bedroom .I love him but not in love with him anymore after I know where I stand with him. He will always be mmy friend and When I meet mr right I will try to cut all tides form hin but until then . Ms not googd enough need to ask him where she stand and if she accepts it then u can try to date other men and mess with him in the meatime until the right one comes in.It is not wrong to have a back up guy men do to us all the time just flip the script.

[Melody]

I have a specific dilemma that doesn't quite fit into the booty call category, yet completely does at the same time.

I got out of a four year relationship 4 months ago. After the 2nd month, a friend (who I've been good friends with for 3 years and who also had recently gotten out of a long - distance relationship) started contacting me more often and eventually asked me out on a date. We had sex on that first date and have had sex numerous times since. Yet there has been no talk of a relationship.

He had been calling/texting me on a regular basis (almost daily) and the contact eventually dwindled, picking up occasionally. Mostly, he just calls at night for a booty call. I realize that being called past midnight and invited over for sex without any dates is a booty call. I'm just confused because he has made it clear that he is not and does not want to have sex with anyone else (he is not pursuing other women "because of me"), loves to cuddle and talk for hours with me afterward, and pretty much always stays the night or lets me stay the night. The confusion results from this not being typical "booty call protocol." We've known each other in a friend capacity for a long time, so we like each other, and we obviously like having sex with one another. I don't know...he didn't (and still doesn't) seem like the type of guy that would marginalize me into this category, but all evidence is pointing to me just being a booty call he likes to snuggle and talk with.

I'm nervous to ask him what our status is, but I should probably just go ahead and do it. Any advice as to his tendencies to treat me like a girlfriend after sex?

[The Diva Muse]

Love this post, and yes, Whitney, if a booty is good enough to call, it is definitely good enough to take out, marry, and love. It is not up to the man to stop seeing us as booty calls, it is up to us to stop seeing ourselves that way. : ) We should ultimately decide.

And the frittata sounds yummy.

[The Diva Muse]

Love this post, and yes, Whitney, if a booty is good enough to call, it is definitely good enough to take out, marry, and love. It is not up to the man to stop seeing us as booty calls, it is up to us to stop seeing ourselves that way. : ) We should ultimately decide.

And the frittata sounds yummy.

[lisa]

this post was so helpful. thank you. sometimes you just have to see thetruth in B/W.

[Leela Diva]

I have a similar situation. I went into the matter of liking the guy and not wanted a relationship because I didn't think we were compatable. We once went to school together but recently met back up dated. We did hook up after two dates, and he hasn't called me in two weeks, but we did e-mail each other before he stopped calling and scheduled a date which never happened. I also want to know how can I start over with him again and this time to do it right? Should I call him or leave it alone?

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[chey]

I been I'm a situation for almost 2years...I slept with him first night and we hung out daily for first year....I stayed over 5nites a week and even showered for work during that time he's never called me girlfriend just chey this is chey I met his family had Xmas with him and still just chey I don't want.to admit booty call status but I'm afraid I am I've asked him he's says were not together and that were just friends but come on do u have friends over on Xmas and stay the night 5times a week for months? I'm confused

[chey]

I have grown close to his dogs and he had in the past said I was there mom....he'd make remarks like go get your mom and they come to me. He's so leading me on. When I ask him he says he doesn't want to argue...its not an argument its a question. What are we? I notice that lately he texts me late at night after not responding to my texts all day. He's like come over or what r u doing. My responses are sleeping....his are not anymore. And fine ill use my hand. R u serious is what I think. BUT HE ASSURES ME THERE IS NO ONE ELSE. So I go over for fear he if I don't he will call someone else. Question.....what should I do? I love this jerk

[Lola]

Im in such a strange situation I dont know where to begin.
I married a complete blithering idiot and had a child with him, I had always been atracted to his sisters ex boyfriend (who also has a child with her) we began talking mainly about how to escape my hopeless marriage and soon became close friends. I was already seperated from my husband when we began fooling around, and we got hot and heavy quick. This has been over a year now. He has admitted to having strong feelings for me, and I to him. Im completely in love with him but after a year, I dont want to be the secret weekend booty call anymore. I need advice on what to do in this situation. It feels like a relationship we go out we talk everyday hes very affectionate, but there has,been no talk of a relationship. And to top it off we have to have a secret affair because of the controversy it would cause between our families. WHAT SHOULD I DO??