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Veronica From Mars

This is a white trash conundrum if there ever was one! It makes me grateful to be single and childless (for once). It may be mean to say but I’m glad there’s someone out there whose grass is WAY less green than mine.
To quote a green martian from my childhood, gadzooks!
Veronica

Cindy

If the birth of his two children hasn’t made him propose I doubt anything will. - The question should be why do you want to marry a man that doesn’t want you - please! file for child support and get on with your life.

Emma

If the worse thing this man has done is not propose, give him a break! He can’t be all that bad if you’ve been together all this time and had kids together. Ease up!

Wedding Favors

Marriage is an interpersonal relationship with governmental, social, or religious recognition, usually intimate and sexual, and often created as a contract. The most frequently occurring form of marriage unites a man and a woman as husband and wife.

Maxien

men never wanna get married nowadays, they dont mind having the house, kids, car, dog, holidays and sex, yet they dont want to show their loved one how much they love them by getting hitched. They can take all of this from a woman who has prepared herself for a life with a husnabd etc, yet they refuse to give anything back. As long as he is safe, comfy and well looked after emotionally, mentally an physically he has no need to marry.

Robert

As a man's point of view - I would like to say that some men dont feel the need to get married for a variety of reasons just like a lot of women. Its a matter of personal choice. I am once divorced and now married. My wife is also divorced twice. My first marriage was 18 years, and if she had taken care of my children I might have stayed in the marriage but she refused to be a wife and mother so I left with the children, then there is the men (or women) that would rather not get married just in case someone better comes along. I would like to say to those that live in those relationships to just move on if its been more than a year and no commitment is made (when its appropriate - not when a person is young or still in college trying to find themselves). The type of people that are holding off hope for someone better will NEVER be happy with anyone they are with and your wasting your time.

Rebecca Kraft

Check out the book "Why Hasn't He Proposed?" it gives you a plan to make sure that he gets down the aisle, and will help you determine if your man is simply altarphobic and is never going to pop the question. Good luck to you...you sound like a very nice person and I wish you the best. Here is the link if you want it: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Hasnt-He-Proposed-Setting/dp/0071614966/ref=bxgy_cc_b_img_b

Seductress

Always,

Aside from Whitney's advice to find out the common law marriage laws in your state, the only other option you have is to leave.

Which I would not suggest because you have two children who need their father. The father YOU chose for them before you married.

You cannot "Make" someone marry you. If he is a good man and father which he must be since you want to marry him, just stay in the bed you made. If he marries you one day, great, if not, leave him when your kids are in college if you want to.

Robert Jackson

Marriage is an awful rip-off for men. All the advantages are for the women and all the disadvantages are for the men. Women have changed the legal system to make it very bad for men. The divorce courts are very stacked against men. Women are the ones who want to marry the most and 75% of the time it's the woman who wants the divorce. For a man, getting married is extremely stupid. You lose your money, your freedom, your independance, and your right to live the way you want. Sex also goes down drastically after marriage. Buying the cow presumes you can get all the milk you want, but in truth the cow stops giving milk after you buy it. After the kids are born, the woman gives all her love and attention to the kids and nothing to the husband. Marriage gives women far too much power to abuse a man. Women abuse men by being bossy, nagging, controlling, etc. Also women often pressure men into doing things all the time to make them happy in order to have sex. Marriage is hell. You women are so self centered. All you are willing to do is seen your own selfish point of view. You act like men are bad for not wanting to get married. But marriage is an awful rip-off and many men know this. So a huge percentage of men refuse to get married. Women abandoned their traditional role in western society, so hey guess what? We men can abandon our traditional role too!!! We don't have to be the chumps that buy you expensive rings and get married and become your slave. He guess what? We have a right to decide how we want to live just like you women do! We're not your frigging slaves. We're not cattle just waiting to do your bidding and obey your orders and sacrifice our lives for you. The words at the top of this page, "trap him, feed him, keep him" shows that women think of men as dumb animals to be trapped, manipulated, used, and abused for your own selfish purposes. We're human beings with rights and privileges. American women are ridiculously selfish and spoiled. We men aren't as stupid as you think we are. If you offer us a raw deal, we won't want it. For men, marriage is completely unnecessary and undesirable. If a man does get married, he gains nothing and all he can do is hope that his wife doesn't turn out to be a witch who doesn't make his life a living hell and/or financially ruins him. Women have this stupid fantasy that marriage is such a wonderful thing, but a lot of women are also miserable in their marriages. For one thing, they have to deal with a mother-in-law and in-laws.

Jennifer

Dude, a little bitter? You know they have therapy and medication for that. Don't stop, do not pass go, do not collect $200, but get thee to a therapist, quick, before you actually decide to procreate.

mroadster

Mr. Jackson says it right on. I notice how another poster called him "bitter" but yet did not dispute his post in a rational or analytical way. Instead, its name calling.

Let's assume Mr. Jackson is "bitter" - that doens't make the facts of what he wrote any less compelling. Men who do not want to get married for the reasons cited by Mr. Jackson are not "immature" - if you look at the dreadful deal that marriage has become for men (as Mr. Jackson properly referenced), they are actually very reasoned in their approach. Women who say, "Ignore all those facts, let's get married." - now that's immature.

marie

wow... its sad to see that people really give this kind of advice... what happended to having honest and open relationships... and since when Can us as woman be bought???
Sorry i aint no cow... i dont give milk... and i cant be bought... marrige is suposed to represent love.. its doesnt always anymore because no one thinks love is unconditional... why dont u simply ask him his view on marrige. and go from there. god dayum why is everyone so negative... ALways, you cant be bought... and if ur happy what a ring and a last name???
and by the way if he answers it doesnt meen anything to him, then all you have to say is well it meens something tome and since it doesnt change anything for u . why not do it my way.. marrige is about us.
Hope i helped..

soothsayer

Perhaps if the rules hadn't changed where a man was not even supposed to expect sex till after marriage, then this wouldn't be an issue. What on earth do you expect. Use up a woman for her body and then walk away? A girl has to look out for her interests. A man expects sex from a woman after the third date. What's in it for her? Heartache with a cad? Gentelman,,,do it the old fashioned way. Buy a prostitute and leave the real ladies alone until you grow up. Ever read the personals? Every woman requests the same thing..."no games, no more lies, no players..." And that is the reality of woman deal with on a daily basis. And then mken wonder why women repsond in kind. Look at waht you've done to the ladies. Turned them into screwballs who keep getting lied to so some guy can get his rox off. Quite sad.

Jonothan Storm

Soldier,
You women are insane!!! You advise lying and decieving others and your potential spouse so that he may marry you? I have been abroad most of my military carreer and have seen how other countries women treat their men and vice versa. And, unfortunately, I must admit that it is not worth it for an American Man to marry an American Woman, it is too risky, both financially, emotionally and legally. It is soo bad that many of the wonderful foriegn women I have met have openly stated that although they love their American husband, he must stay in the country that they are in because American women and society are so anti-male and so against women who wish to stay at home and be mothers and housewives to the husbands that they love. This was a huge suprise to me, being something that I never put any thought to, and unfortunately American women, this was a similar thought that was expressed from women in South Korea, Germany, Kuwait, Italy, France, etc. I have just returned back from overseas and I now know what these very smart ladies were talking about. I must admit that the U.S. is in a catastrphic situation. None of my collegues that are divorced, and they are excellent men, will marry again, particualarly an American Women. American Women, I am not your enemy, but be advised, as a male soldier, who has traveled alot and having this this discussion with other male piers, your feminist war, which you have won, has resulted in an increasingly huge amount of men who will not marry, or at least, will not marry an American Woman. Wheather you like it or not, men do not care for "strong women". They are competators, and even though competition is good in most endeavors, men will not marry a competator. The laws in this country are so skewed towards women that young boys and young college men are no longer going to college because it is a hostile place for males. So what is the answer? I wish I did know exactly but the happiest American Males that I have seen married to foriegn wives were those married to French Women and German Women. I would put forth to all to ask what are these women doing, as a whole, that make their marraiges last and their American Men, of all ethnicities by the way, not just black and white men, happy and want to stay with them.

Lori

Jonothan, you cannot spell.

Edward Phelps

Look, I have nothing against american women. Being once divorced (wife unilaterally divorced me... no cheating, no drinking, etc., I did nothing wrong). All the good in our marriage was erased by the acrimony of the divorce - it was like the woman I knew for 25 years morphed into this greedy, lying animal bent on my destruction - and we have 3 children. I tried to be reasonable, asked for marriage counseling, even begged... I was punished even more. She told me her lawyer told her she had to lie about me... that it was simply a strategy. I said it was her choice, period. So this woman I loved and cherished for 25 years and built a life with turned into a pit bull and went for my throat in court (spending our children's college education money in the process). Do I blame her? Sure... but the real culprit is the legal system in that it allows women to hammer men in court, make false allegations, take the children and interfere with visitation, etc. Women know they'll win in court... so they file for divorce 2/3 of the time... then they use the legal system to fleece us. Trouble with this system is word's getting around and men (in particular the smart successful ones) refuse to put themselves at a disadvantage. "trap him, feed him, keep him"... sounds like something a teeny bopper would write. FYI: I will never marry again... I lost enough the first time around. In addition, I will make it my life's mission to educate young men who contemplate marriage - I'm not alone. Until the legal system changes and women stop using men I'll be on a marriage strike. To all men out there... don't get married (marriage is about love, divorce about money/custody). Don't have children either... she will take them from you (even if you're a good father) and continue to have your wages garnished for alimony and child support and the legal system will force you to comply.

Jonothan Storm

This is in response to Marie. I could not agree more with your response. The unfortunate thing is that prostitution is illegal in the U.S. and if a man gets caught, he risks being labeled a sex offender and that would spell the death knoll for most. In the countries that have legalized prostitution, you see few sexual assault crimes, fewer divorces, longer marriages, etc. Germany is a country like that and when it is time for a man to get married, generally he is far more responsible and capable to nuture and take care of his wife and children. However, be careful Marie, there are many women who will pounce on you if you recommend legalizing prostitution too loudly.

nnya bzwx

Mine hasn't married me either. We own a house together. We bought it a year ago. But he won't marry me. And now, I really don't care anymore. Every day, I care less and less. And I just don't want to have sex with him. Why should I? What am I? Nothing obviously. I haven't slept with him for about 6 months. Why the heck should I? He won't marry me so obviously I am not that special so why would I want to have sex with him if I'm not special? If it weren't for the fact that we bought this house together and the housing market stinks, I would leave. I would just pack my stuff and leave. I've actually thought about just leaving without my stuff and letting him live in the house. He keeps pressuring me for sex. No thanks. I keep thinking about cheating on him with someone just to get back at him for making me feel like such a zero. By refusing to marry me, he is basically saying that he doesn't intend to stick around forever. I guess he wants to just stick around long enough that I will become too old to have any other options, then he'll trade me in for a younger model and marry her, no doubt. I never cheated on anyone before but I think this year I might. I really might. Oh, and he said we should have kids. He said that last week. That was probably just a ploy to get me to sleep with him. It didn't work. Why would I have kids with someone who won't marry me. Jerk.

I love the guy above who said that there is nothing in marriage for a guy. What a selfish jerk. Well, I don't see what is exactly in it for them when they don't marry us. Because not marrying me has made my feelings for this guy completely change. It just made me not give two sh*ts about this him and not want to have sex with him at all. I don't see how that is a wonderful way for him to live. I feel totally trapped in this relationship now because of the house. Somewhere out there might be a guy who would marry me and I am stuck with my stupid mistake. When we met, he proposed and then nothing happened. I feel like a complete idiot. I really got taken. I guess I better start getting out of this mess I am in. When I was really young, I packed some things and just up and moved to a new state to get away from my horrible family. I started a new life overnight and never went back and rarely looked back. Maybe it is time to do it again. I never thought I would be doing that as an adult. A runaway adult. Who ever heard of that?

lesley

nnya bzwx
I am with a guy nearly 8 years who makes excuses not to marry hes nearlyy 44 never wanted to marry any of his 35+ gorlfriends before me,although I had token engagement rings I got theres no law to say I should marry and people get engaged but never marry,Ive had people are together 12 15 18 25 years then get married,bit hint thats us.
I see my guy has a phobia,I have given him a daughter 6 years ago but I moved out the house 2 years ago as his lack of commitment has made me feel Im worth more.
I could end the relationship meet new partner and they dont want to be married?What then that could happen to you then youll say I wish id stayed with this man?no?
I understand 100% why you want marriage I have been married 10 years to my ex we were together 16 years but hes an alcoholic so I ended it as he would never stop drink.
But if we meet a person who has a real phobis about marriage and we love them then why leave? I think this is a human trait what we cant have we want more? Im afraid if you wont have sex with your guy he WILL get it somewhere else only a small % will go without,so he may have an affair and leave you that way you will both have to make a decision with the house,TBH maybe you should leave tell him your want out and rent somewhere until he eirther buys you out or sells the house,explain you as a person feels marriage after all these years is the next step if he cant give you that one of you needs to move out for a trail seperation,beleive me its hard moving out this is why Im still with my guy,I havent even dated anyone else as I cant cheat and did contemplate it but as I said the next guy you meet he may not want marriage too? Some people dont its just the way the are mentally. Ive got now my partne wants us to run a business together and he says when were in there we will get engaged and marry I simply say why after he says as my jobs not secure as hes losing it this is why he wants his own business,but tbh I dont know if I can as he wont marry me,once Im in there its going to be a stress to move back out so I will probably not as only sleeping together 3 times a week is better as he doesnt get sex on tap ;) xx

Air Jordan

Happiness consists in activity. It is running stream, not a stagnant pool. Do you agree?

Barry

It makes me sad to hear the constant bickering between men and women. To all the people in this forum - do any of you realise that widespread female discontment was orchestrated from the very top? The poisonous notions put out by the feminist movement would never have seen the light of day had it not been for massive injections of cash from the Rockefellers. Get an education and watch Aaron Russo's Reflections & Warnings on YouTube. He looked very ill during the interview because he was dying of bladder cancer. This was the last interview he did.

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Paul Smith

Merci beaucoup pour votre article.

Kyle

It never ceases to amaze me how so many women are willing to throw away a perfectly good relationship because the man won't sign what it essentially a completely worthless piece of paper that does absolutely NOTHING for the relationship. What it shows is that such women never really cared about the relationship to begin with, they care more about having a wedding or a marriage whereby they will probably cut sex and intimacy off from the man, but he will have to still pay for their children and help around the house and so forth.

As for this nonsense about, "He won't commit," HE'S COMMITTED if he stays with you while being unmarried. In fact, IF ANYTHING, that shows all the more HOW committed he is, that he stays with you even though he could leave. With marriage, you end up creating a situation whereby the man may remain with you only because he is frightened of the legal repercussions of divorce.

Which leads to where marriage really is binding. As I pointed out above, marriage does nothing for the actual relationship itself. Where it really has bite is in being a legal contract that basically allows the woman to financially ruin the man in a divorce (the inverse can also happen, although it's more rare).

You women who are willing to just leave the relationship because the man won't marry you are the ones being selfish, to an extreme degree.

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