Having His Parents Over

Dear Whitney and Liria,

I'm about to plotz, big time! My boyfriend's parents are coming over to my house for dinner on Saturday night and I've never met them before. I can only assume that Joel is getting serious if he's introducing us. The thing is that Joel knows I can't cook. What-oh-what am I going to make so they give their stamp of approval and encourage their son to marry me?

Meshuggah in Memphis

Whitney Says:

Dear Shug,

Joel is a putz if he knows you can't cook, yet insists you do so when you meet his parents for the first time. Boy howdy, this boy needs a refresher course in what you will and will not put up with. This is the only time EVER that I have not had a food recommendation for one of the gals that writes in. But for you sugar, my best advice is to call for reservations. When Joel et al come a knock'n, tell them to shake their tail feathers or they'll miss dinner.

Of all the nerve!

Liria Says:

Dear Memphis,

There's no reason you should get all stressed slaving over a hot stove just so the parentals can proceed to grill you under the hot lights. That's more heat than any girl oughtta endure. So here's my thought: He isn't playing fair with you, babycakes, and believe you me, two can play that game. We are the cagier sex and we can win this one. Watch!

Why not have them all believing that you're the best cook this side of the Mississippi? It's time for some tip-top catering, my girl. If you're serious about the ring, it's time to practice the art of illusion. You need co-conspirators, lots of them. Forbid anyone from arriving before 7 p.m. Have your team come early in the day and bring all kinds of sumptuous goodies. While you're at it, throw in hair, makeup, wardrobe, and hypnosis. If your gonna create an illusion, why not create the one that says not ONLY can I make the best meal you people have ever eaten, but I'm such a catch that I look flawless, perfect, and completely calm while doing it. The ring will be on your finger any day. Guaranteed.

By the way, you'll want to charge the whole kitandkaboodle to Joel's credit card.

If he ever asks about the bill, remind him NEVER to put you in this position again!

Beautiful, no?!

Comments

[Southern Cookie]

Whitney and Liria,
I’m a Southern girl. So I say, plan a cookout. What guys doesn’t love to grill? Surely Whitney has some easy (no cooking involved) salad recipes that will make Mashoogana look good in front of her boyfriend’s parents.
Southern Girl

[Amanda]

This site has some good advice. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. I would crack that man of hers upside the head for putting her into such an uncomfortable position in the first place. Be yourself that is who they are coming to meet. Go out to dinner after maybe having some cocktails and hor d’oeuvres at the house. Cheese and crackers, veggies and dip, fresh fruit with a dip are all simple and you can buy premade ones at the store and just put them onto some nicer serving platters. Don’t forget cocktail sized napkins, little plates and decorative toothpicks. You will be great! Believe in yourself as much as your man does.

[Lisa in Beantown]

Before I even read the answers, I knew what mine would be. Go to Williams-Sonoma, buy yourself a few beautiful pans (will serve as lovely kitchen decor later) and dishes. Google a good caterer in your area and have them deliver the food. Transfer the delivered food to the pans (to give the illusion of cooking). Then transfer food to the new serving dishes (and leave “dirty” pans in sink - not pretty, but realistic). Set a beautiful table with lots of candles (if you can’t clean either, dim the lights and light lots of candles - no one will know!). Voila! A beautiful, homecooked meal. Don’t forget to preheat the oven to add to the ambiance!

[Not So Plain Jane]

I love the idea of buying the pans and dishes - if you can’t afford a caterer - the frozen food aisle has lots to offer!!!